Identity is fluid. It is not fixed. One’s identity shifts depending on contexts. This means there is movement space and also healing space. However, there is balance in this movement. The challenge is to find it.

Dr Jo Viljoen and Mardine Strauss, SIMCHA therapists, expressed these views during an interview with Berta le Roux-Wahl, Radio Pulpit presenter, on 31 March.

Looking at identity from such a perspective is in line with the narrative approach. Dr Jo and Mardine explained this using the metaphor of being a passenger in the back seat of your own car. The movement to control of your life would be to tell the current driver (which equals the major problem identity in your life) to get out of the vehicle and to take your rightful

position in driver seat.

Narrative therapy invites a person to become the driver. The change that this approach could bring in anyone’s life is enormous. The vista changes in the driver seat. The driver then determines the direction.

In the process of identity shift the narrative therapist is the client’s travel partner. The journey is the client’s pilgrimage. Therapist and client walk side by side. The therapist does not give advice. The therapist puts a hand on the client’s shoulder and looks at what he or she is going to do..

Dr Jo explained that problems gobble up a person’s identity. The therapist encourages the client to unravel the impact of problems on his or her identity. It is a process of deconstructing problems so that their lies no longer resemble the truth.

Narrative therapy does not focus on the problem. Its focus is on positive alternatives. Patience and calm are key. The process takes time. People are eager to start the unravelling process. They do ultimately arrive at a place where they can say I am not taking it any more. I will no

longer allow it to drown my entire being. I forgive myself for allowing it to take place. The grace for such forgiveness follows. The process of becoming is uncovered.

Then a person’s life changes.

The Coram Deo Pastoral Counselling and Narrative Therapy training centre in Pretoria offers

contact and online courses in narrative therapy. Visit the website http://coramdeo.co.za/

SIMCHA Recovery offers contact and online therapy) for persons with problems they wish to overcome. Visit the website https://simcharecovery.co.za/

Me, I can drive my car

Yes, I'm gonna be a star

Me, I can drive my car

And then I'll love me

(adapted Beatles’ lyrics)